Friday, November 4, 2011


As I sit here with Baby Kitty bathing on my arm, I realize that I have a zoo in my home and I am, in fact, the crazy cat lady.  I have 4 of these fucks.  

T.C.--an original name, stands for "The Cat" since we decided "Punkin" was gay...even though my then-4-year-old named him.  A.K.A. Big Ginger. He's 6...or 7...and weighs about 14 bills...a big orange tabby with a loud ass meow who has a tendency to hack up hairballs on our bed.

Lucy--my baby girl gray and black tabby.  She's my hugger. And she only meows when she sees a bug in the house.  A fan of the head butt and is often caught doing something stupid but she tries to cover it up.  She is just over a year. A.K.A.  Pretty, Baby Girl, Cuddlebug, Purrburger.

Smokey--we really call him Fat but he's registered with the vet as Smokey.  He is a month younger than Lucy but is 2.5 times the size.  All black with a few stray white hairs.  He can't meow.  At. All. He sucks his paw when he gets petted.  And he is a klutz.  I have watched him fail many a jump.  A.K.A. Ass, Big Guy.

Harley--our newest addition.  He's 4 months old and we had to bottle feed him for a month.  We got him when he was 4 weeks old and now he's a fuck.  A cute little fuck.  That's hubby's buddy.  He has torn up my drapes, scraped paint off the wall, eaten my Jimmy Johns, and he LOVES cheese popcorn.  Really? What kind of kitten did we adopt? A.K.A. Baby Kitty, Fuck, Asscat, Asshole, Purrburger.  

Did I mention I have aluminum foil and cling wrap in several areas of the house because two of these asscats like to, on occasion, leave kitty surprises for me and hubby.  Therefore, I have an obsession with cleaning the cat box and making sure the house smells nice.  Which are not good things for a person with OCD to be obsessed about as my entire house will smell like a combination of Yankee Candle, Scentsy, and Glade.  Olfactory overload.  But not in a gross old lady sort of way.  Just kinda like you wanna eat whatever is burning.  

Anyhoo....I had a totally different vision for where this blog was originally going but since I am ADD I completely forgot and had a squirrel moment. Watch the movie "Up!" if you don't get it.  You will laugh your muthafuckin ass off.  Same with "Rio" and "Rango."  I have kids so I have an excuse to watch these movies without seeming like a sexual predator.  Let me tell you, they are fabulous shows.  More fabulous than the old Disney flicks that I still love to watch now and again.  In fact, if Walt Disney were alive, he'd shoot himself, come back to life, then shoot himself again if he knew what animated feature length films had turned into.  

Digressing blog may be about what I originally intended to talk about if I can remember what it was that I wanted to talk about.  

Can I just throw in that people suck? 

Ok. Peace out, girl scouts....till next time...

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